If you’re itching to find a partner who’s just as thrilled about delving into your kinky desires as you are, look no further. Whether you’re keen on roleplay adventures or exploring bondage, I’ve sifted through a variety of BDSM dating sites to bring you the cream of the crop.

From platforms catering to the most adventurous of tastes to those offering a more laid-back vibe, I’ve got you covered. 

So, stick around as I reveal my top picks for the ultimate fetish and kink-positive dating sites.

Ready to take the plunge?

First Look – Best BDSM Dating Sites

Top BDSM Hookup Sites, Rated and Reviewed

Everyone has differing kinks and desires, so some of these sites might suit you better than others. Ready to explore what’s out there?

1. AdultFriendFinder – Top BDSM Dating Site Overall

Pros

  • Large BDSM community
  • Good for casual hookups 
  • Watch live cams
  • Great search function

Cons

  • You have to pay to message
  • Bots and spammers present

Price

  • $39.95 for one month
  • $80.85 for three months

AdultFriendFinder isn’t solely centered on BDSM, but it remains a top pick for many in the kink community. The allure of this top hookup site lies in its expansive alternative scene, making it one of the premier hubs worldwide.

With years of establishment under its belt, the site has cultivated a sprawling community dedicated to alternative lifestyles. Whether you’re into intricate BDSM dynamics or niche fetishes, you’re bound to stumble upon like-minded individuals here.

So, whatever floats your boat, chances are AdultFriendFinder has it in spades.

Just make sure you’re upfront about your desires so that you don’t waste anyone’s time. The platform has a vast user base, and not everyone is into kinky things!

BDSM dating: Sign up for AdultFriendFinder.

2. Alt.com – BDSM Site With the Best Range of Kinks

Pros

  • Find partners into BDSM, bondage, and swinging
  • Large alternative audience
  • Great search function
  • Watch live cams

Cons

  • Limited free stuff
  • App can be a bit buggy

Price

  • Free sign up
  • Silver membership – $19.95 a month
  • Gold membership – $29.95 a month

ALT, short for alternative, is the ultimate haven for those who thrive on exploring their kinks and embracing their inner freak. Whatever your fetish may be, rest assured you’ll find your tribe within the ALT community.

What sets ALT.com apart is its liberating atmosphere, where authenticity reigns supreme. 

With a vast network of alt-minded individuals, connecting with people into the same things as you is effortless.

Just a word of warning, though: If you’re just dipping your toes into the world of BDSM, ALT.com’s vibrant scene may be a little overwhelming. I’d say this site is better suited for more experienced kinksters. 

BDSM dating: See who you can kink up with on Alt.com.

3. FetLife – Social Network-Like BDSM Hookup Site

Pros

  • Works just like a social media site
  • Lots of different kinks and fetishes
  • Chat groups available
  • Free or low-cost membership options

Cons

  • Website could do with an update
  • Better for hookups rather than real relationships

Price

  • Free basic account
  • $5/month premium account

FetLife isn’t your average fetish dating site; it’s ambitiously carving out a niche as the ultimate BDSM community hub. With an impressive 10 million members and counting, it’s clear they’re making significant strides in achieving that goal.

It works like a social media site but a whole lot kinkier. 

Here, you’ll encounter a diverse array of individuals seeking everything from romantic entanglements to casual hookups and lively social interactions.

Given its expansive user base, you should find it easy to connect on this platform. Just be warned, though, this site isn’t for the faint-hearted. 

Sign up for FetLife and join in the BDSM dating fun.

4. Fetish.com – Find a Lasting Fetish Relationship

Pros

  • Niche fetish and BDSM site
  • Online dating, events, and parties
  • Good matchmaking system
  • Chat rooms & live streaming

Cons

  • Only available in the U.S., UK, and Ireland
  • Fake accounts present

Price

  • One month – $9.90
  • 3 months – $7.50/month
  • 12 months – $4.49

Fetish.com stands as a vibrant haven for those embracing their kinks and delving into the world of BDSM dating. Whether you’re a curious newcomer or a seasoned enthusiast, you’ll find yourself right at home in this inclusive community.

Unlike typical hookup apps, Fetish.com prioritizes meaningful connections, fostering an environment where lasting relationships can flourish. 

You can even score invites to exclusive BDSM gatherings and events.

Setting up your profile is a breeze, too. Just pick your best photos, share your expectations, and wait for the wave of linked-minded individuals to check you out. 

BDSM dating: Enjoy bondage and fetishes on Fetish.com.

5. Seeking – BDSM Dating Site for the Wealthy

Pros

  • Paid background checks 
  • You can hide your ID
  • Variety of users
  • Free for women

Cons

  • Not just BDSM dating
  • It’s expensive

Price

  • Premium—$109.95/month
  • Diamond—$274.99/month

Seeking is in the VIP section of the fetish dating world. It’s where successful, attractive folks come together, looking for all sorts of connections.

What’s cool, though, is that despite having the fancy vibe, this dating site has a surprisingly big BDSM crew among its 40 million-plus members.

Just pop your preferences on your profile, and you’ll find yourself chatting with other like-minded souls in no time.

Meet people for BDSM dating on Seeking

Pros

  • One of the biggest hookup apps
  • Easy swipe functionality
  • Millions of users
  • You can use it for free

Cons

  • Not just for BDSM dating
  • Fake/inactive accounts

Price

  • Free version 
  • Paid subscription: $9.99 to $39.99

Surprising as it may seem, Tinder isn’t just for vanilla dating – it’s gradually emerging as a platform for exploring BDSM dynamics, too.

As one of the largest dating apps globally, Tinder needs no introduction. Its massive user base ensures there’s someone for everyone in this virtual sea of potential matches.

However, you’ll have to be clear about what you’re after, as this site caters for everyone. 

Just pop in your bio you’re looking for fellow BDSM and kinky enthusiasts, and watch your matches come flooding in. 

BDSM dating: Find fellow kinksters on Tinder.

7. Ashley Madison – Discreet Site to Find BDSM Partners

Pros

  • Very discreet site
  • Blur your photos
  • Women use it for free
  • Anything goes here!

Cons

  • Not just for BDSM and fetishes
  • Can be pricey for men

Price

  • Site credits – $59.00 for 100 credits to $289.00 for 1,000 credits

Ah, Ashley Madison – infamous for its provocative tagline, “Life is short. Have an affair.” 

It’s a platform that wears its intentions proudly on its sleeve. 

Surprisingly, many individuals flock to Ashley Madison in search of kink and BDSM relationships, perhaps due to constraints in their current marriages or relationships.

If you’re in the market for a discreet exploration of your desires, this site might just be worth checking out!

Enjoy discreet BDSM dating on Ashley Madison.

8. Pure App – Best BDSM Dating App for More Extreme Kinks

Pros

  • Great for finding couples
  • Lots of kinks and fetishes
  • Very discreet
  • Anonymous chats

Cons

  • More options in large towns/cities
  • Fake/inactive accounts

Price

  • $29.99 a month

Pure, much like Ashley Madison, prides itself on fostering a culture of “shameless dating.” Here, there’s no need to hide your kinks, fetishes, or fantasies—they’re embraced with open arms.

This makes Pure an ideal choice for those immersed in BDSM and other unconventional desires that may not fit the mainstream mold.

Whether you’re seeking like-minded individuals or adventurous couples, Pure offers a platform where you can explore your deepest desires without reservation. 

BDSM dating: Find someone into a specific kink or fetish on Pure.

9. BDSM.com – Casual Hookup Site for BDSM Hookups

Pros

  • Casual BDSM hookups
  • Plenty of group chats 
  • Find singles, couples, and groups
  • Great matching algorithm

Cons

  • Free stuff is limited
  • Fewer users than other sites

Price

  • Plans start from $19.95/month to $29.95/month

BDSM.com boasts a vibrant community of over 900,000 members, making it a haven for sex-positive individuals exploring their fetishes.

Within its diverse landscape, you’ll discover over 340 groups dedicated to a plethora of unique kinks, ranging from femdom to bound and gagged and even high heels and boots. 

Suffice to say, there’s no shortage of kinky individuals to connect with.

Find people into bondage, BDSM, and fetishes on BDSM.com

10. BuddyBang – BDSM Site for Beginners

Pros

  • BDSM hookup site
  • Very easy to use
  • Find a variety of fetishes and fantasies
  • Lots of nude profile pics!

Cons

  • Web-version only
  • Lots of ads. 

Price

  • Packages start at $39.95/month

BuddyBang is the ultimate go-to BDSM sex app for discovering fellow kinksters in your area. Simply peruse the dating ads and reach out to connect with potential friends with benefits.

Ideal for newcomers to the kinky dating scene, BuddyBang offers a straightforward process: browse ads, message potential matches, and chat to delve deeper into your desires.

With a whopping 40 million members, you’re sure to find someone to play with.

BDSM dating: Sign up for BuddyBang.

11. Reddit BDSM – Find Bondage and Fetish Lovers for Free

Pros

  • 100% free to use
  • Easy way of finding people into BDSM
  • Forums and chats
  • Well-used website for dating

Cons

  • You have to scroll through the subreddit
  • Lots of spammers

Price

  • Completely free 

Reddit isn’t just a place for cat forums and endless “did I do something wrong?” posts – it’s also home to a plethora of NSFW sites, including the intriguing r/BDSMpersonals.

For those seeking a low-risk method to connect with other BDSM enthusiasts, this subreddit offers a promising solution. 

But the best part? It won’t cost you a penny. 

Simply make a post or browse through others to find individuals and take it from there. 

Use Reddit for free for BDSM dating

12. BDSM Singles – Niche BDSM Dating Site

Pros

  • Niche site caters just to BDSM lovers
  • Location settings – find people nearby
  • Find singles, couples, or groups
  • Free icebreaker message

Cons

  • A smaller number of users
  • Site could do with updating

Price

  • $1 a day trial 
  • $32.95/month

At BDSM Singles, the name says it all—it’s a specialized dating platform designed specifically for those deeply involved in BDSM. If you’re a part of this community, you’ll find yourself right at home.

It’s worth noting that due to its niche focus, the site does have a smaller user base. 

However, the upside is that every connection you make here shares your interests. 

Use BDSM Singles to find your kinks and fetish partner

13. Fetster – Very Discreet BDSM Hookup Site

Pros

  • Focussed just on fetishes
  • Free messaging
  • Very interactive users
  • Online education section

Cons

  • Can take a while to sign up
  • Site is slightly dated

Price

  • Subscriptions start from $12.99/month

Fetster might sport a bit of an old-school vibe with its website, but don’t let that fool you—it’s a fantastic community for those with a penchant for fetishes. 

What sets it apart is its commitment to discretion, a feature appreciated by many navigating the world of BDSM and fetish relationships online.

Although it isn’t the largest site in my review, this one still has a decent number of users, which is why it made it onto my list. 

You shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone to enjoy your fetishes with. 

Find a partner who is into fetishes on Fetster

14. Bondage Pal – BDSM Dating Site for Bondage Fun

Pros

  • Niche site just for bondage lovers
  • LGBTQ+ friendly
  • Good search function
  • Free messaging

Cons

  • Web-only
  • Fewer users

Price

  • 30-day trial – $6.49
  • $25.95/monthly

Bondage Pal shines brightly with its steadfast embrace of the LGBTQ+ community. No matter your identity, you’ll find a welcoming space here.

True to its name, Bondage Pal is dedicated to connecting individuals who share a passion for bondage. 

While its user base may be smaller compared to other platforms, it’s steadily expanding into a thriving community.

BDSM dating. Sign up to Bondage Pal.

15. Feeld – Non-Judgemental App for Extreme Kinks

Pros

  • App for people with extreme kinks
  • Sexually inclusive
  • Join as a single or a couple
  • Non-judgemental

Cons

  • Some inactive accounts
  • No web-version

Price

  • $11.99 per month
  • $8/month for a 3-month deal

Feeld is a haven for those delving into the more extreme kinks and exploring the realm of threesomes. As such, you’ll likely encounter fellow BDSM enthusiasts within its unique community.

Given its niche focus, Feeld fosters an environment of open-mindedness and acceptance. 

Feel free to express your desires openly and authentically—this is a space where unconventional passions are celebrated.

BDSM dating: Find someone into extreme kinks on Feeld.

How To Have a Great BDSM Dating Experience

If you’re new to BDSM, there are a few key rules that you should know. While the practice can be extreme, it doesn’t have to be, and it should be a mutually consensual experience. Here are my top tips to ensure you have a great time. 

Establish Ground Rules

In BDSM, communication is key, so make sure you discuss your boundaries and desires openly.  Negotiate and agree on what you’re both comfortable with, and stick to it.

Use Safe Words

When delving into restraint, pain, and pleasure, safety is paramount. Establish safe words and a clear “hard stop” word to ensure mutual enjoyment and consent.

To make it easy, a traffic light system can help:

  • Red means stop
  • Yellow signals to slow down or ease up as you near your limits
  • Green indicates comfort and consent to continue

In BDSM play, exploring pain doesn’t equate to a free-for-all. Consent remains paramount, no matter what you are doing. Establish what you’re both up for to start with, and respect each other’s right to say no. 

Best BDSM Dating Sites and Apps – FAQs

Still have some questions? Take a look at my FAQs. 

Yes, BDSM is legal. As long as what you’re doing has mutual consent, there is nothing wrong with it. 

Related reading: Top swinger sites

Are BDSM Dating Sites Safe? 

Yes, BDSM dating sites are safe. Just like all dating sites, remember to take precautions when you meet someone new and never disclose personal or financial information. Meet in a public place so if things do go wrong, there are other people close by to help. 

Which is the Best BDSM Dating Site?

The best BDSM dating site is AdultFriendFinder. Although it’s not a niche BDSM site, it does have a huge alternative community with plenty of people looking for BDSM fun. 

Top BDSM Hookup Sites in Conclusion

I hope I’ve shown you the variety of sites where you can find someone to explore your kinks with.

Give AdultFriendFinder a try, or check out niche sites like BuddyBang, Fetlife, or BDSM.com. There’s a whole bunch of people out there ready to get adventurous with you.

So, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and have some fun!

Related reading: Top married dating sites