If you only live once, then it’s best to fulfill your fantasies now while you have time and still have your good looks. 

Besides, even if you don’t only live once, surely you will be forgiven by your chosen deity for getting laid by that hot and smoldering vixen/stud you’ve always coveted. 

Not to worry, we have the best affair sites reviewed, ready for your discreet reading!

Is It Always Cheating on Married Dating Sites?

Sometimes it’s cheating, but the word “affair” is a broad term and one that can have several implications, depending on your lifestyle and perspective. 

Most of the time, affair dating means married dating. But married people may be looking for affair sites because they are in: 

  1. An open marriage (don’t ask, don’t tell)
  2. A cuckold marriage (do ask and do tell, in great detail)
  3. A consensual non-monogamous marriage (let’s talk about everything!)
  4. Swingers (let’s share everything)
  5. Polyamorous (I have two or more spouses!)
  6. Single but looking for a married lover (Why yes, I do covet my neighbor’s wife, thank you!)
  7. Married and seeking another married (many, many problems at home)
  8. Married and looking for a hot young thing (the lovely midlife crisis)
  9. And of course, married and fantasizing (just chatting, never going to do it IRL)

That said, let’s begin our discussion on the best extramarital affair sites and which sites got yours truly the most amorous attention. 

Best Married Dating Sites & Casual Dating Sites

When it came to married dating, two sites stood head and shoulders over the rest, with one getting the edge on desired audience (married and cheating), and the other on polyamorous and looking.

First Look

  1. Best affair site overall – Ashley Madison 
  2. DTF singles, marrieds, swingers & more – Adult Friend Finder 
  3. Top affair dating site for married women – Victoria Milan 
  4. Go on sugar dates – Seeking 
  5. 100% free affair site- Reddit/r/Adultery 
  6. Post about affairs anonymously – Reddit/r/Affairs 
  7. Budget sugar dating site – What’s Your Price
  8. Most discreet casual dating site – No Strings Attached 
  9. Dedicated affair dating site – Heated Affairs
  10. Best for UK marrieds – Illicit Encounters
  11. One of the biggest cheating sites for Gen X – Craigslist Activities 

1. Ashley Madison – Best Affair Site Overall

Pros

  • Mostly married and cheating membership
  • Photo editing tools for anonymity
  • Women get to send messages for free
  • Website, mobile site, and app

Cons

  • Some fake users
  • Limited free preview

Ashley Madison is notorious for all the right reasons – namely, in how it appeals to unhappily married couples looking to cheat without drama or personal risk. 

This affair site not only offers basic searches and matching, but also adds blur, blackout, or mask filters to photos and albums with custom viewing preferences. 

Ashley Madison appeals to people who keep secrets, unlike other sites which tend to be dominated by “ethically non-monogamous couples”, who can very often seem judgy. 

Point is, if your relationship is complicated and you can’t be open about your kinks and desires, Ashley Madison has the highest membership and helps you keep a lid on that chamber of secrets. 

2. Adult Friend Finder – Great for Affair Hookups

Pros

  • Amateur or pro webcam chat
  • Online user chat rooms
  • Social feeds, forums, and blogs
  • Wide variety of “married” types beyond cheating

Cons

  • At $39.99 for premium membership, not cheap

Adult Friend Finder was cool even back in the early 2000s when all the swingers flocked to the site, which openly promoted threesomes, polyamorous lifestyles, LGBTQ communities, fetish searches, and of course, the married seeking married crowd who couldn’t get find a date on MySpace. 

Except Tom… he would date anybody!

Adult Friend Finder has only made its features more sophisticated, with live video chat, member forums, blogs, photo contests, and social media feeds. There are even erotic stories, hot and not voting, and testimonials, which makes AFF kind of like the naked version of LinkedIn. 

The community factor here is charming and will make people – especially women – more open to chat than a seedy place with mostly male members. 

3. Victoria Milan – Best Dating Site for Married Women

Pros

  • Website, mobile site & app
  • Good reviews for customer service
  • Anonymity tools
  • 256 SSL security

Cons

  • Packages between $29.99 and $49.99 a month – pricey 

Victoria Milan was always primed to be the next Ashley Madison, or even something better, with supposedly enhanced security features and anonymous chat and browsing. 

The cheating site lets you hide your identity with blur filters or stickers, and even lets you click a “panic button” in case your spouse stumbles upon all your erotic emojis. 

With Victoria Milan, you can match with local kinksters or even those across the world, curious about dating someone from your country. 

As an alternative to Ashley Madison, and one designed for women, VM has a strong focus on anonymity, security, and safety.

4. Seeking – Best Affair Site For Older Men

Pros

  • Women get premium access for free
  • Men can get ID-verified and income-verified
  • 4-1 female to male ratio
  • The most notorious site for “seeking arrangements”

Cons

  • Budget-conscious men probably won’t enjoy it

Let’s be blunt – Seeking is a great place for older (and wealthy) men to meet younger women who are into mindless flirting, sexy chat, and sometimes a very lucky first date. 

Seeking also appeals to younger women, usually in college, who are looking for an arrangement; like lots of free gifts and free money just for a date.

Frugal guys are not going to do very well on this site, and possibly not even “less than physically perfect women” will either, since millionaire guys tend to have very high (and superficial) expectations. 

But for the rest of us, (the older wealthy guy and the curious college student trying to pay off those loans) it’s a win-win.

5. Reddit/r/Adultery – 100% Free Forum-Style Affair Site

Reddit is probably the easiest social network to use, even surpassing the likes of Facebook, in terms of accessibility. All you need is an email address and you can start posting in groups like /r/Adultery for free. 

Free chat, free messaging, free photo exchanges, and free meetups if you’re living nearby each other. 

The Adultery subreddit is not all about personal ads or sex chat, however. Sometimes it’s just about sharing experiences or confessions. Then again, it’s also the most likely place you’re going to find another lonely married Reddit user very likely to travel for a kiss, given the topic. 

Pros

  • 101k members
  • Completely free
  • Likely to meet people specifically looking to cheat
  • In-depth discussion on cheating & adultery

Cons

  • Not much in the way of filtering
  • Mostly useful in big cities

6. Reddit/r/Affairs – 100% Anonymous Affairs Forum

Similarly, the Affairs Subreddit is another free Reddit discussion forum, where you can post messages, send private messages, or even privately chat in real-time.

The Affairs Subreddit has more-to-the-point posts, stating age, sex, and location information, proving these people are real and a tad impatient. Then again, they’re usually picky so be nearby and be your best.

That’s all you can really do!

Pros 

  • 50k members
  • Free messaging, chat, and posting
  • More direct personal ads for affairs than r/Adultery
  • Moderators try to block spammers

Cons

  • Not much in the way of filtering
  • Mostly useful in big cities

7. What’s Your Price – Best Discreet Dating Site for Married People

What’s Your Price is like the budget-version of Seeking.com. You don’t have to be rich, but it helps. 

More to the point, you can bid on your dream date for a specific price. If you’ve used a sugar dating site in the past and were embarrassed to ask “How much is it going to cost me?” then What’s Your Price makes it easy.

You suggest the price and pick your dream date. Marital status can be kept secret or freely shared. It’s like a charity auction, except it’s not all for charity and if you’re both mutually attracted, you don’t have to be so respectable. 

You can get freaky! 

Pros 

  • Like Seeking, but budgeted and more customizable
  • All new accounts are inspected by moderators
  • Less “perfect” candidates can sign up and get more attention
  • Marital status is not important

Cons

  • A minimum of 100 credits costs $50 – pricey 
  • You are also bidding against other users

8. No Strings Attached – One of the Most Casual Online Dating Sites

No Strings Attached is the opposite of Seeking – namely in the fact that you don’t have to verify anything. In fact, no background check is required or encouraged. That means it’s a true NSA dating site for married people, and definitely NSFW for that matter. 

No Strings Attached offers private communications, local member matching, and reportedly years of experience, having been founded in 1999. If you’re intent on using a throwaway email account and no real information about yourself, this one will work. 

Pros

  • Easiest place to fake a profile
  • Dates back to 1999
  • More agreeable to men who don’t want to spend
  • Local or global matching

Cons

  • No app
  • No real background verification

9. Hush Affair – Most Affordable Cheating Site

Hush Affair doesn’t have the best web presence out there, as the navigation leaves something to be desired, and plus, the website name is often confused for movies, novels, and erotic stories with the same name. 

However, once you do join Hush Affair and take a free preview you will notice one clear advantage: it’s cheap. Much cheaper, than Ashley Madison and Adult Friend Finder, requiring less than $10 for 90 days, or even $3.33 for 15 days. 

The site also lets you pay with SMS, Dotpay, or PayPal, which are discreet forms of payment. 

Pros 

  • More affordable than competitors
  • Accepts multiple payment options
  • More agreeable to working class men
  • Most members are unhappily married

Cons

  • Questionable website design 

10. Heated Affairs – Tailor-Made Married Dating Site

Who knows if Heated Affairs is exaggerating, suggesting it has over 48 million members ready to cheat, flirt, and fool around online. What the site does offer that’s unique is a free preview that’s head and shoulders above the competition. You can preview video chat, like other user photos and videos, join a chat room, and follow blogs. 

If you want to fool around online without a financial commitment, Heated Affairs may be just the online cheating tool that your heart desires. 

Pros 

  • Free preview with basic membership, including video chat
  • Multiple search filters, including poly & LGBTQ
  • Telephone support line
  • Pay for membership or use credits to unlock features

Cons

  • Packages between $19.99 and $39.99 – somewhat pricey

11. Illicit Encounters – Best for UK Married People

Illicit Encounters is listed as a married dating site, with nearly 1.5 million active members and a solid reputation dating back to 2003. Based in the UK, users can expect local matching, success stories, live chat, and member search options. 

The adulterous website has been featured on numerous media outlets, including The Guardian and BBC, demonstrating its reputation and longevity. 

For UK married folks, Illicit Encounters is close to home and more likely to land you a match within driving range. 

Pros 

  • Free for women
  • Very secure website
  • App or website

Cons

  • No singles(!)
  • 140 GBP per month – pricey 

12. Craigslist Activities (Or Missed Connections) – Anonymous Affair Dating & Hookups

Craigslist has disappointed many of us, and will always have a special place in our hearts for its catfishers, flakes, psychopaths, ghosters, nonsensical spammers, prostitutes, and finicky marrieds who want to cheat with anyone except you

Sigh.

On the bright side, however, Craigslist still occasionally has real members posting, usually couples searching for female “unicorns”, or better yet gay men looking for “plumbing work” – or some other clever euphemism. Have at it, fellas! 

Pros

  • Completely free
  • Meet anywhere – no restrictions
  • Have completely anonymous fun
  • Create multiple posts with registered email

Cons

  • Surprisingly a lot of trouble to post a simple ad
  • The dumpster fire factor
  • More fake profiles and spammers than crazy hotties

FAQs About the Best Married Dating Sites

What are the best affair sites?

Ashley Madison has a slight edge because of its popular name and association with cheating, while Adult Friend Finder is a close runner-up because it’s the best site to find a non-monogamous lover who doesn’t believe in cheating. 

Between these two sites, you have the best of both worlds.

Are affair sites safe to use?

Most sites go out of their way to guarantee anonymity, privacy, discretion, and security. Sites like Ashley Madison and Victoria Milan also insist on using superior encryption and various online tools for obscuring real faces and real names. 

Are affair sites specifically for cheating?

Practically every affair site has a “cheating” option, assuming that most people who look for affair sites are unhappily married. 

However, sites like Adult Friend Finder clearly have many provisions for polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous couples who are married but still looking.

Is it safe to have an affair?

We like Illicit Encounter’s thoughts on the matter: “not everyone is suited to having an affair…and some affairs can be damaging to your life!”

Great marketing, you know, warning everyone not to do it, so that they are further tempted by opportunity! 

The truth is, having a “secret” affair will always come with risks. Many cheaters get caught by their spouses because of their own human error, not because of any security flaw in the website. 

Are affair sites free to use?

Yes, most affair sites are free to use or have a free version.

Most sites require payment for gold or premium membership, but even Ashley Madison lets you browse members, while Adult Friend Finder allows new basic users the chance to see blogs, social media feeds, and even webcam performers. 

How do I broach the subject of cheating with my new friend? 

There’s no need to be coy or shy about the subject. If you are using a site like Ashley Madison, or clearly specify that you’re married on Adult Friend Finder, your home situation is obvious to everyone. 

There’s no need to explain why you’re looking for an affair, or talk about your home life, or ask your online date about their situation. Just pretend like you’re both single and master the art of conversation. 

Try to be romantic, sexy, and very open about what you want from the relationship.

Conclusion – Which Affair Dating Sites Are Worth It?

Yours truly found that Ashley Madison provided significantly more interaction than the other sites, specifically in new messages being sent, flirts, winks, and members reaching out after viewing my profile, and in local matches in the inbox. 

Adult Friend Finder may have more swingers and poly marriages than Ashley Madison, which is not all bad. 

However, if you have no choice but to sneak around and have to be discreet, Ashley Madison’s website and app will protect your reputation.