Whether you’ve lived here your whole life or just arrived a few months ago, D.C. can be a strange and confusing place. It’s not a state, but the government functions like one (sorta). Recreational weed is legal, but technically you can’t buy it. Sometimes the buses just don’t show up. There are no signs telling you where to stand on the Metro escalators (only angry fellow passengers). And God help you if you don’t pay attention to the quadrants when asking for directions.
But those quirks are also part of what makes this place great. Luckily, your friendly neighborhood alt-weekly is here to shed some light on some of those weird, wild questions about D.C.
In this year’s Answers Issue, we’ve dedicated the last few weeks to answering readers’ most head-scratching questions about D.C.—from where affordable housing gets built, to how to work at an embassy, not to mention what the hell is going on with the Wilson Aquatic Center, and whether 86-year-old Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton is still driving. —Mitch Ryals
Why is the mayor putting more low-income housing in Ward 8?
There is undoubtedly a lot of affordable housing in Ward 8. The area has seen 1,333 affordable units built there since 2015, per figures compiled by the Office of the Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development—easily more than any other part of D.C. But this isn’t all Mayor Muriel Bowser’s fault, exactly.
Instead, it’s a function of decades of zoning and housing policy. For one thing, most of the land in Southeast D.C. is zoned for apartments and other “semi-detached homes,” instead of the single-family homes dominating wealthy areas in Upper Northwest. It’s probably no surprise that this is part of the legacy of segregation, as rich White homeowners sought to wall off their neighborhoods from new development (and the Black people who would live in said development).
This has led to all kinds of downstream consequences. Among them, there’s already a large number of “older, garden style apartment complexes” that the city has preserved as affordable housing, says DMPED spokesperson Ben Fritsch. And there’s typically much more available land in less developed places like Ward 8, and that makes the cost of development much cheaper. The price of land is often prohibitively expensive for developers seeking to build affordable housing, a process that already requires a complex mix of funding sources, and so these companies are often priced out of the rare opportunities to acquire land in areas like Ward 3.
Bowser has sought to change this dynamic over the past few years, Fritsch notes. Her administration has prioritized projects in neighborhoods traditionally excluded from development as it hands out affordable housing loans, a process that has already borne some fruit. But the numbers make it clear that this sort of disparity won’t be solved any time soon. —Alex Koma
Eleanor Holmes Norton is a treasure. That said, after watching the video of her “parking” a few years ago, is she still on the road?
First, a little background: This pointed, if a bit snide, question is referring to Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton’s 2015 viral parking job. Back then, at 77, Norton was caught on video attempting to squeeze her silver sedan straight into an angled parking space between the Longworth and Cannon House office buildings. (She told FOX5 she was running late to a TV interview.) The gaffe earned her a round of media coverage and the dishonorable designation as the second worst parker among local elected officials. (Loyal readers of this publication know exactly who was then, and forever will be, the reigning champ.) The video even prompted a local tipster to drag out a by-then-nearly-decade-old story (with photos!) of Norton parking directly in front of a wheelchair curb cut at 12th and G streets NW before strolling into the now-closed Hecht Co. department store.
Political rivals have since seized on the viral 2015 video, as Rep. Thomas Massie did in 2022. The Twitter spat between the Kentucky Republican and Norton started with Massie’s declaration that neither he, nor the employees in his office, would comply with D.C.’s vaccine mandate. Norton offered to order sandwiches for Massie’s staffers who were vaxxed and boosted. Massie thanked the delegate but asked her to promise not to drive to get them herself. “Touché, sir,” Norton replied. But in response to your question, dear reader, Norton, now 86, says, “Yup, I’m still on the road, cruising for statehood and parking in the shade.” —Mitch Ryals
Has a 5-7-5 haiku ever ended up on a Golden Triangle BID sign? It’s one thing to use the … open-ended … haiku definition the BID uses, but it’s yet another to actively penalize any haiku that fit the popular (even if incorrect!) definition?
As a frequent writer of Notes-app haiku, I identify as a 5-7-5 loyalist. For those readers who haven’t thought about haiku structure since elementary school, the Golden Triangle BID “follows the Haiku Society of America’s guidelines for modern haiku, which does not require the traditional 5-7-5 structure.”
The traditional haiku contains three lines with syllables of five, seven, and five. The modern, more capacious structure “frees the author to use evocative language to capture a moment or expression of beauty in a short, descriptive verse,” according to the BID’s website. I read every winning haiku available online (via individual press releases) from the past seven years—2022’s winners were nowhere to be found—and did not see a single 5-7-5 haiku. When asked for comment, the Golden Triangle BID team sent over the following statement: “Golden Haiku judges are responding to the quality of the haiku itself. The format can adhere to 5-7-5 but doesn’t have to in modern haiku. Many haiku that are 5-7-5 have been displayed on Golden Haiku signs throughout the Golden Triangle neighborhood over the course of the competition.”
It’s possible that my research did not cover the breadth of winning haiku and that somewhere among the previous winners lies a 5-7-5. Dear reader, you and I will both have to be on the lookout for this year’s sunset-hued signs—2024 winners will be announced mid-March—to derive our own answers to this question. —Samantha Ostwald
There are lots of embassies in D.C. Would they hire me or do they basically just hire their own citizens? (Let’s assume I’m bilingual but not from that country or a dual citizen)
Turns out, they might hire you. At least according to the three embassies that replied to our queries, anyone with the right to live and work in the U.S. can apply for employment at the Spanish, British, and Bahrain embassies. Ana Fernández Quiñones from the Embassy of Spain suspects other embassies have similar policies, but isn’t certain. She confirms that fluency in Spanish is required to work for the Spanish Embassy and there are non-Spanish citizens working there today. Dana Taqawi from the Embassy of the Kingdom of Bahrain tells City Paper via email, “The Embassy, like many diplomatic missions, hires locally for various positions ranging from administrative roles to specialized positions depending on the Embassy’s needs. Such employment opportunities at the Embassy are typically open to individuals based on their qualifications, skills, and experience.” Meanwhile, Duncan Walsh, the British Embassy’s press officer, confirms that employees are not required to have British citizenship or roots; they can also hire people with “Green Cards or on NATO, L2, and A2 visas.” For those interested in working at the British Embassy, Walsh says to look here. —Sarah Marloff
Why do people here honk at you like the millisecond the light turns green?
Distracted driving, rush hour traffic, getting cut off: There are plenty of reasons drivers get pissed off on the road and the overzealous honking heard around the District (and perhaps the world) is likely a symptom of that road rage. A study conducted by the Zebra insurance company found that 92 percent of American drivers witnessed an instance of road rage in 2023. The survey also found that the most common bad behavior drivers admitted to was honking out of anger.
“The way people drive makes it very difficult,” says Hassan, who has been a driver for the Silver Cab Company in D.C. for 12 years (he declined to give his last name). When asked how often he sees drivers in the city honking for no reason, Hassan laughs: “At least every hour.”
While a Forbes survey from 2023 did not include D.C. in its findings, it shows that the states bordering D.C. are home to some of the country’s angriest drivers. Virginia ranks No. 4 in the country for most confrontational drivers, while Maryland lands at No. 19.
The D.C. Department of Motor Vehicles clearly recognizes this as an issue for local motorists. The DMV’s Driver Manual instructs drivers to “sound your horn only to warn a pedestrian, cyclist or the driver of another vehicle in the event of an emergency.” (A green light is not an emergency.)
And on a page of the DMV’s website dedicated entirely to aggressive driving, the department admonishes: “Don’t blow your horn at the driver in front of you the second the light turns green. If a stressed-out motorist is on edge, the noise may set him or her off. Scores of violent encounters have begun with a driver honking the horn.”
With 52 traffic-related deaths in 2023, the Metropolitan Police Department’s 20-Year Traffic Fatality Trend confirms last year had the District’s highest total of annual traffic-related deaths in 15 years. Nine traffic-related deaths have already occurred in 2024. —Mat Schumer
When DDOT repaves a street, why do they often leave out one block in the middle? For example, when they repaved 15th Street NW between Massachusetts Avenue and U Street, they didn’t repave the block between Corcoran and R streets. When they repaved M Street NW in the West End, they didn’t repave the block between 23rd and 24th streets. When they repaved New Hampshire Avenue NW between Dupont Circle and T Street, they didn’t repave the block between R and Riggs streets. It’s not like those blocks aren’t in bad shape. Is this some sort of attempt by DDOT to avoid competitive bidding requirements?
The short answer boils down to time and priorities. The longer answer involves Mayor Muriel Bowser’s PaveDC plan, which aims to repair all roadways, alleys, and sidewalks in bad condition by this year.
Through the plan, DDOT has outlined measures to address roads deemed to be in poor condition. But other infrastructure and road projects are underway at the same time, and sometimes the schedules conflict.
These limitations, according to a DDOT spokesperson, include capital improvement projects and gas, water, electric, and telecom service utility maintenance. If a work conflict pops up, DDOT will table specific aspects of their renovation plans, such as road resurfacing, to minimize disruptions to residents and community members and prevent roads from deteriorating further.
On M Street NW, between 23rd and 24th streets, the road is rated in “fair condition” under Bowser’s PaveDC plan, and DDOT does not believe it needs resurfacing, according to the agency spokesperson. For the segment on Corcoran Street NW, between 15th and 14th streets, seven active construction permits along that block are preventing resurfacing work. And as for 15th Street NW between R Street and Riggs Place, the block is rated in “poor condition” and still needs work, according to data from the PaveDC dashboard. This block is being reviewed for consideration under this year’s plan, whose results are released as early as March. —Heidi Perez-Moreno
The dc.gov website won a “Best of the Web” award … in 2014. A complete redo of the site was promised last year. What’s the status?
The D.C. Office of the Chief Technology Officer is currently hoping to have a shiny new website for the District ready by the end of this year or early in 2025.
The agency has inked a deal with a local web design and advertising company, Taoti Creative, to manage the process, according to Mike Rupert, the city’s associate chief technology officer for customer experience. The firm has spent the past six months or so surveying users about what a new site could look like and mapping out design options, which it plans to deliver to the city shortly. Then, OCTO will hire some additional contractors to build the site, Interim CTO Stephen Miller told the Council during a Feb. 13 oversight hearing. He hopes to have a “prototype” of the site ready for people to start tinkering with before the fiscal year ends in October. Once that’s ready, the next few months will be spent moving content over from all the various city agency websites into the new portal.
And there’s some good news for advisory neighborhood commissioners, too: Miller says OCTO is also working to build “a network of 47 websites” for each ANC so they no longer have to maintain their own pages. —AK
Why does it look like the building at 5th and E streets NW was born in 1886 and died in 2002?
The Keck Center, situated at 500 Fifth St. NW, houses National Academies employees and hosts cultural events and art exhibits by appointment. Established in 1863 by President Abraham Lincoln, the National Academy of Sciences is a congressionally chartered nonprofit that advises the nation on matters related to science and technology. The dates “1886–2002” are cut into the redbrick portion of the building. The National Academies archives department confirmed this is a historic facade that dates back to 1886, while the postmodern Keck building opened in 2002. The displayed dates do, in fact, symbolize the birth and death of the original structure. —SO
What are the future plans for the Smithsonian Arts and Industries building? It’s barely been used in years, but I’ve been inside it and it seems okay.
The inside is, in fact, OK. The building at 900 Jefferson Dr. SE is “available on a rental basis for special events,” according to Linda St. Thomas, the chief spokesperson at the Smithsonian Institution. Although “permanent use of the building is undecided at this time,” St. Thomas says, the currently unoccupied space housed the FUTURES exhibition from November 2021 to July 2022. And that June, the building was in the running as one of four possible locations for the National Museum of the American Latino and the American Women’s History Museum, but the Smithsonian Board of Regents has since eliminated it from consideration. Last year, the Smithsonian used the building for its Solstice Saturday events in late June, and St. Thomas says they may do so again this year. —SM
The mayor recently got grief for not implementing a D.C. law (pre-funded) expanding SNAP coverage. Are there other examples of laws the mayor is ignoring? Can mayors just ignore laws? Have past mayors also done the same?
Yes, there are. No, they can’t. Still, they do this all the time. —AK
Why does Metro still have a money train? How many people still pay cash?
Yes, those bright yellow trains passing through Metro stops with no sign of passengers except for the heavily armed guards aboard are the money trains. They’re still vital to the agency’s operations as its means of storing cash collected from fare machines at stations throughout the system.
Although most passengers riding Metrorail pay their fares using cards or mobile payments, many still prefer to pay with cash, which the “money trains” collect and transport, according to Jordan Pascale, the media relations manager for the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority. Pascale couldn’t reveal how much cash the trains collect, citing security reasons.
As of April 22, an audit from WMATA’s Office of the Inspector General found that Metro’s cash collection is 32 percent of what was collected before the pandemic. And though this amount is smaller compared with previous years, the report stated that fares paid in cash or collections are still significant.
The cars are considered to be an efficient means of storing the cash that passengers deposit into fare machines at stations. Armed guards will periodically collect and store what is collected from these fares onto the money trains, where it eventually be sent over to WMATA’s Revenue Collection Facility to process. —HP-M
The District’s swimming pools—WTF? Wilson Pool has been closed for the better part of a year with minimal information. The Department of Parks and Recreation spent big bucks to rebuild the pool at Hains Point (East Potomac Pool), and it never opened. What is the extent of the problems here and what is the action plan to get these public assets back on line?
The city’s Department of Health closed the Wilson Aquatic Center in Tenleytown last February after its HVAC system failed. The city was briefly able to get it reopened over the summer with some temporary fixes, but it shut down again in August and has been closed ever since.
In a statement, Ward 3 Councilmember Matt Frumin says this stems from “embedded design flaws that created HVAC maintenance challenges from the start.” Plans to replace the HVAC have stalled due to a lack of funding, but Frumin is hopeful that the city is on the case now and the pool will reopen soon. However, he lamented that the timeline for a reopening has repeatedly shifted due to “the uncertainty of supply chains and work schedules.”
“We all would have been better served by clear periodic updates, and we are told one such update is imminent,” Frumin adds. A spokesperson for the city’s Department of General Services, which manages facility repairs, says the agency is “evaluating additional repairs before a spring 2024 reopening,” and will make an official announcement when that work is complete.
“Once reopening happens, let’s hope that the problems that have dogged the pool for years will be permanently and sustainably remedied and the pool will perform at least as well as the day it opened,” Frumin writes. “If not, pool users and our office will be on them about further repairs.”
Things are a bit more stuck at Hains Point. Construction at the East Potomac Park pool was put on hold in 2020 amid concerns about the site’s conditions, and the city has been stuck in legal action with one of its contractors ever since. Records show the city’s Contract Appeals Board is still reviewing the matter. —AK
On the edge of Carnegie Library (Apple Store) on K Street NW between 8th and 9th streets next to the sidewalk, there are two things that look like they used to be staircases but are now covered with closed, locked metal sheets. What is down there?
Below those locked metal sheets lie underground restrooms that were once open to the public. According to historic records, shared by Jennie Gwin, architect and historic preservationist at Beyer Blinder Belle, the firm behind the Carnegie Library, the restrooms were added in 1913—11 years after the library itself was completed. Gwin doesn’t know when the restrooms closed, but confirms they “were not opened” during construction for the Carnegie Library. —SM
How many parks in D.C. does the National Park Service manage and, of those, how many are actually in operation?
One of the many bizarre consequences of D.C.’s lack of statehood is that a federal agency has jurisdiction over 90 percent of the roughly 6,700 acres of parkland in the District. The best guess at what that means in terms of how many discrete parks NPS oversees comes from a 2005 Government Accountability Office report, which found 356 federal park properties around the city.
However, of those, 154 don’t feature any facilities or amenities. That’s because all kinds of open space is categorized as a federal “park,” according to Kelly Whittier, a spokesperson for George Washington University’s Sumner M. Redstone Global Center for Prevention and Wellness. The center published a study of how NPS manages its D.C. properties last year, finding that small triangle parks at the intersection of major roads or even land in median strips often count as federal park properties for these purposes.
This points to a huge problem with how NPS operates in the District, the study’s authors argue. They found that the agency has neither the resources nor the inclination to activate these parks, viewing its mission as more focused on “preservation” than actually making such green spaces useful for people. NPS has shown a repeated willingness to close off its parks rather than let anyone actually use them—particularly if the people using them are homeless. —AK
What’s the plan for the parking lot next to Conrad Hotel (9th and I streets NW)? Everything else nearby is developed.
Back in 2012, the D.C.-based developer Gould Property Co. announced big plans for this site: It hoped to partner with another firm, Oxford Properties Group, to build a 12-story, 620,000-square-foot office building, complete with some ground-floor retail. The idea, broadly speaking, was to piggyback on the burgeoning CityCenterDC development next door as this section of downtown saw an influx of money and interest.
Gould made some initial moves to secure permits for the construction and marketed the property to potential tenants, but the project seems to have stalled several years ago. The developer didn’t respond to a request for comment, but the word in downtown business circles is that the company has never been able to secure an anchor tenant for the project’s office space. Without one, it’s much more difficult for a developer like Gould to line up financing and get the project off the ground. And that was the case even before the pandemic upended the downtown office market—there’s virtually no demand for new office space anymore, particularly without a big company set to lease it before it’s built.
So it looks likely that the land will remain a parking lot for the foreseeable future, much to the delight of the tourists and convention-goers who ensure it’s kept full on most days. —AK
Correction: A previous version incorrectly attributed the source of an audit of WMATA’s money train operations. This version has been corrected.