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Today’s 5.8 magnitude earthquake left a lot of D.C. shaken—but not as shaken as the jokes that flooded Twitter immediately afterwards left us. Here, Washington City Paper ranks earthquake humor on a scale from 0 to 5.8.
2.1: “My earthquake brings all the boys to the yard.” (@MarissaPayne)
3.4: “Earthquakes are caused by shifting tectonic plates, cups, and silverware.” (@FakeScience)
4.8: “Two for one deals tonight, Shake Shack. Make it happen.” (@DCSportsBog)
5.1: “Prediction: several pictures on Jack Evans’ vanity walls have fallen to the ground.” (@AlanSuderman)
5.2: “Just like New Yorkers to feel an earthquake from another state and act like it was centered in NY.” (@bbchase)
5.4: “Can only hope this quake gets Larry Sabato some much-needed expousure…” (@MarkLeibovich)
5.8: “SORRY LIBYAN REBELS, THE GROUND OVER HERE SHOOK FOR LIKE 15 SECONDS. GOOD LUCK W/ EVERYTHING, WE DON’T CARE ANYMORE.” (@DanAmira)
Photo illustration by Brooke Hatfield