While in Mexico over the weekend, I happened across a bargain bin full of over-the-border delicacies: Mexican porn comics selling at 8 pesos each. Behold: Thinking penises! Dialogue I do not quite understand! Women who look like they’re not wearing shirts even when they’re wearing shirts! This week, I review the copies I picked up. De nada, guys.

Previously: “Colegialas Ardientes,” reviewed; “Golosas del Sexo,”reviewed.

Title: “Historias Eroticas: Lujuriosos apretones ¡de CHICHES!”
[“Erotic Histories: Lusters squeezing the BREASTS!”]

Distributor: “Seductora Sexual”
[“Sexual Seducer”]

Plot: A married couple celebrates its eighth anniversary by doing it in the car. Then, the husband goes on a business trip, gets drunk with some lady, gets a boner, has sex with her. At some point, a gun is brandished and the lady passes out, but that part lost me.

Sample Dialogue:

José Miguel y Linda tenían ocho años de casados.
[José Miguel and Linda had been married eight years].

Precisamente, venian de festejar aquel acontecimiento con una cena.
[Indeed, they had come to celebrate the event with dinner].

JOSE MIGUEL: Wait. Wait a minute.
[JOSE MIGUEL: Espera, déjate tantito].

LINDA: ¡Que no, Chihuahua! Para eso tenemos nuestra casa.
[LINDA: No way, Chihuahua! For this, we have our house].

JOSE MIGUEL: Anda, dámelo como regalo de aniversario de bodas.
[JOSE MIGUEL: Come on, give it to me for an anniversary present].

LINDA: Humm … Está bien, Puedes mandarte en poco.
[LINDA: Humm … Okay, you can take me a little bit].

JOSE MIGUEL: Gracias.
[JOSE MIGUEL: Thanks].

He does.

—-

SPANISH LESSON: “Chihuahua”: invoke it.

BIEN: Ummm . . . now I know what “chiches” means.

MAL: Boring as hell. Seemingly nothing to do with chiches. Plus, no penis thought bubbles.

DETERMINING FACTOR: Overly long.

RATING: A big cero.