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Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

To commemorate one of the hottest spells of Washington weather in quite some time, Bill announces a “Hot Weather Photo Bake-Off,” open to D.C. residents willing to endure the heat and snap pics. But they must adhere to strict guidelines of hack photography. “We’re looking for photographs that give the feeling of excruciating heat,” Bill writes. “An egg frying on the sidewalk is an obvious example; hot, rising air enveloping suit-wearing men and women works, too. People consuming vast quantities of chilled beverages at outdoor restaurants is fine. (Or better yet: If they’re pouring the beverages directly on their heads.)” Is the Hot Weather Photo Bake-Off just a friendly community photo contest, or a scheme hatched by the Washington Examiner‘s art department to nab some shots of sweaty toddlers, overheated puppies, and old women fanning themselves? You decide.

Takoma resident Linda ponders how to spot the real troublemakers in her neighborhood. “Kids hanging out on a corner are not committing a crime, but in some instances, I just feel like something is not right with some of these kids, they just look like they’re ‘up to no good’ to borrow a carmudgeonly [sic] line from my grandmother. I know my mother feels unsafe when we drive around and she see these thuggish-looking kids hanging around. I try to explain to her that dressing like a thug is ‘the style’ for young people these days, so you can’t judge someone by what they are wearing (or how they are wearing it), but she thinks I’m being dangerously naive.” To help Linda and her mom distinguish between fashionable and felonious youths, here’s a quick guide: disaffected youth in baggy jeans with a scowl on his face=cool teen. Disaffected youth in baggy jeans waving a gun in your face=criminal teen.

When Gloria inquires about buying a can of “mase” to protect herself, her neighbor Curt offers up not only a list of places to purchase pepper spray (“Hardware store,” “Sonny Surplus”) but tips for wielding a can: “[P]ractice grabbing & spraying it a few times so you are quick on the draw,” he advises. “[I]t’s the Wild Wild West these days.”