City Paper is not for tourists
Every Tuesday and Thursday (and sometimes Friday), we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.
MPD-4D On July 31, a 60-year-old man was sitting in his wheelchair at a bus stop when a group of hoods walked up. One put a knife to his throat, and, according to the police report, told him to “start walking and don’t look back.’” Then they took his chair and ran away. David quickly turned the heist into anti–Adrian Fenty fodder, knocking the mayoral hopeful’s nay vote on the recent crime-emergency bill. “We still have people in our neighborhoods that would hold a knife to a wheelchair bound resident so that they can steal his wheelchair,” he writes. “Does the councilman not want to even have a chance to capture that on video?” Unfortunately for David, “it appears that the individual who was robbed of the wheelchair, was not wheelchair bound, but used the wheelchair as a prop as he verbally accosted people along Kennedy street,” writes La Reine. “Thus, the command from the robbers to ‘walk and don’t look back’ – or something of that sort.”
columbia_heights A man is shot dead on Girard Street NW and Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham, on WTOP, calls the crime “very disturbing.” But what’s really disturbing, according to “Your Next Ward 1 Councilmember” Chad Williams, is Jim Graham’s jerkiness. In a 424-word post, Williams decries the “continued violence under Mr. Graham’s leadership” and the “political grandstanding” of Graham “over this dead child’s body.” “33 Days and counting!” ends Williams. The e-list audience, however, doesn’t seem to get it. “Using this death to make a political statement for your campaign is probably offensive to the families,” posts Marcus. “It would be to me if one of my family members were killed.” Tom adds: “Seriously dude. That’s downright cheesy.” Williams doesn’t post a follow-up.
metromusicscene Steve wants to get on American Idol with an original tune inspired by, we’re guessing, Taco Bell. “To wit:” he writes, “I busted out my cell phone late last night/Burritos busting loose and pants were tight/I thanked Jesus for the glory of the black bean/But looked at my ringtone said what did it mean/And from the sky a light came down/I busted bad like Ernie Borgnine’s frown/Gave ten fingers to the lord above/Prayed to the mexi-flavor with one love.” Steve finishes by assuring his fellow posters that “drinks are on me when the check comes in.”