City Paper is not for tourists
Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.
MPD-1D On July 27, ebranic stimulates the collective gag reflex by describing a neighbor who hoards “loosely-wrapped” bags of dog crap in her front yard. “Over the course of several days a collection of bags grows on her front step, and on any given day the pile stinks to high heaven,” writes the peeved resident. “I cannot leave my window open without the ‘fragrance’ of baked dog poop entering my home.” Eleven days and 43 posts later, there’s a new poop problem in the neighborhood: e-list diarrhea. “Clearly dog poop is a major issue in the 1st District!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” writes D Grant, who later apologizes for his immodest use of exclamation points. “I [couldn’t] take another reply to the pooper post.”
MPD-1D Those thievin’ horticulprits have struck a new low. “I was affected firsthand by this last night when apx. 15 hostas that were recently planted at my daughter’s day care center – having been paid for with money from a grant we received from a community gardening group – were dug up and stolen,” writes Angela. “I…realize that in the big picture, this is not an A-list crime, but it really galls me that someone not only stole plants but that they stole them from small children at an obviously marked day care.” Eric suggests that it is, in fact, an A-list crime worthy of an A-list response. “Having had this exact problem happen in our garden two years ago,” he writes, “my wife and I encased the root balls of our plants in chicken wire and then bolted them to the stone wall planter.”
MPD-6D Trish asks the police for help in catching red-light runners at a busy intersection of Pennsylvania Avenue SE. She also wants to know if somebody can fix the bad grammar on a nearby sign, which she says reads, “Red means stop, yellow means break, don’t run red yours life’s at stake.” Sixth District Commander Robin Hoey implies that he can at least assist in the crime-fighting department. “If the sign say it, we should be enforcing it.”