Every Thursday, we round up Pay-Whats and other cheap seats at local theaters. Just so’s your weekend is a little easier.

Before we start, remember the general rules: (A) Reservations for these? Not so much. (B) They’re offered on a space-available basis, so have a backup plan. (C) Click each theater name for details and contact info. Oh, and you might tell ‘em City Paper sent you.

Well, this feature has officially run aground: It’s the deadest time of the theatrical year, with the possible exception of the week between Christmas and New Year’s. Almost nothing is opening this week. And because Pay-Whats tend to be offered during previews, just before openings, well…almost nothing is being Pay-Whatted.

There is this Hatchery Festival thing, which wraps up this weekend—and as with the last two weeks, there are a couple of Pay-What performances associated with that. See below for details.

And it bears repeating that all the Hatchery performances are pretty cheap. Technically these are workshops, which are all about giving promising young playwrights a chance to see their possibly rough work on its feet—so you pays your money and you takes your chances.

Still, the festival is right here in Adams Morgan through this Sunday, Aug. 20—and if you’re a DCAC member, admission is the same $10 you’d spend on a movie. (It’s only $15 for non-members.)

So think of it this way: Even if what you see isn’t so hot, it’s probably better than…wait, what shall we pick on this week?…Oh, I’ve got it: Talladega Nights. So go check out a show, then come back here and post your review as a comment.

Here’s the rundown on the final Hatchery show:

• The Woodpecker, The Hatchery. Set in Arkadelphia, Ark., hometown of 25-year-old playwright Samuel Brett Williams. A “pitch-black comedy about endangered species and Guantanamo.” Gee, by “endangered species” do we mean democracies, civil liberties, and enlightened discourse? Nope, apparently we mean actual woodpeckers. Though I’m guessing there’s a metaphor in there somewhere. Rorschach regular Grady Weatherford directs. Pay-What workshop performances Saturday and Sunday at 3 p.m. At DCAC, 2438 18th St. NW.