City Paper is not for tourists
Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.
Brookland A California transplant needs roach advice. “For the last month, every week or so I have been finding three or so beetle looking things in my bathroom,” she writes. “Yesterday, I turned on my oven and 15 or so of the little beetle things came running out from the small gap between my counter and my oven and maybe 5 HUGE roaches ran out after them! Will they multiply and take over my condo? Is it a terrible idea to let them live in their crack?” Yes, residents respond. They suggest roach poison, boric acid, baking soda, and keeping a spotless kitchen—just don’t cede any ground to the harbingers of decay. “Roaches are not live and let live creatures,” writes a former New Yorker. “You just have to get rid of them.
shepherdpark From assorted 4th District police reports: Sibling rivalry is a bitch: “[Complainant 1] REPORTS BEING INVOLVED IN A VERBAL DISPUTE, [Suspect 1] THEN BECAME ENRAGED AND HIT C1 IN THE FACE WITH AN AXE. THIS CAUSED A LACERATION TO THE LEFT SIDE OF C1’S FACE. C1 AND S1 ARE BROTHERS.” Now, Borf—there was an artist: [Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT UNKNOWN SUSPECT PUSHED OUT THE REAR BASEMENT WINDOW OF THE LISTED LOCATION. THE UNKNOWN SUSPECT THEN ENTERED THE LOCATION AND SPRAY PAINTED THE INTERIOR WALLS WITH THE WORD “BITCH.” Next idea—sell ice to Eskimos: [Complainant 1] REPORTS THAT [Suspect 1] CAME TO C1 DOOR AND ASKED IF C1 WOULD LIKE TO BUY A PLANT. C1 REFUSED. AS S1 LEFT THE LOCATION, S1 GRABBED A PLANT FROM THE FRONT OF C1’S HOME AND FLED.
HillcrestDC What’s in a name? That’s what one resident wonders as he muses about the negative stereotypes associated with the moniker “east of the river.” “’East Washington’ has been a vernacular that has now seeped into the conscienciouness of many,” he writes. “Therefore, I ask, is it time that the East of the River magazine change its name, perhaps to something like East Washington News?” “This is total bs,” Orandra Cotton replies. “If these people are so disgusted and disturbed about living in SE-DC than they all should just move to another side of town. I assume they made a conscious decision to move to southeast- East of the River…what we need to be focusing on is how we as a collective community are going to move forward and rid ourselves of the growing thug mentality of our children who are terrorizing each other and eventually the adult population with their barbaric acts of violence.”