Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.

Ms V has a law-enforcement question: “My oldest daughter, who is 12 years old, snook a 17 year old boy in the house. Is there something I can do to keep this 17 year old boy away from my daughter? He lives in our apartment building.” Commander Robin Hoey urges her to call him immediately, but Lt. Ronald Netter goes one better. “Give me his name and address and I will speak with him. Also, you may want to start with your daughter opening the door for this 17 year old,” he writes. In a wishful afterthought, Netter adds, “Hopefully he is just visiting.”

This listserv fends off spam better than most. So when a gibberish-laden, insecurity-bating e-mail manages to sneak past the goalie, chat-room participants don’t always know what to make of it. In a post titled “Sexy Military Chick wanna date with you, my holy,” a woman named Mary refers Brooklanders to a dating Web site for “uniform friends” and urges residents to “come in and play with me.” Poster Karen is the first to express puzzlement. “Um, what is this?” she asks. Todd has the answer: “Proof that the moderators really don’t censor this listserv.”

Believe it or not, a poster seems to be struggling to unload a pair of tickets to see Queensryche at the 9:30 Club this coming Saturday. Silver_surfer15 suggests that he paid more than $40 apiece for the tix, but he’s not so delusional as to ask for anything close to face. “$50 for both,” he offers. Mind you, this will be your last chance to hear a “Silent Lucidity” encore before the prog metal act lights out for three different House of Blues franchises on its fall tour. “I will take Paypal or cash,” assures silver_surfer15, leaving a phone number. “[W]e’ll work out ticket transfer.”