City Paper is not for tourists
Every Tuesday and Thursday, we run down what’s going on in local Internet discussion groups.
shepherdpark When Shepherd Park resident Mari’s van was stolen from in front of her home last Thursday, she was worried that she may never see the candy-apple-red Dodge Caravan with the soccer ball and “terrific kid” bumper stickers ever again. Although frustrated by the police’s handling of her stolen vehicle, a couple of days after the van was taken, she and her husband received a couple of good tips. First: a sighting. “Neighbors spotted our van tearing through the neighborhood,” Mari writes. “It was parked in one neighbor’s yard for part of the day, then disappeared – either the thieves came back, or a new set of thieves took it.” Even with that information, the police still couldn’t recover the van. “These sightings were reported to the police as early as 11:30, only minutes after the van was stolen, but as far as I know no one was sent to follow up at that time – when the thieves were apparantly hanging out enjoying Shepherd Park.” Maybe the second lead will be more helpful: “Two casette tapes of ours were found in a neighbor’s yard. These thieves do not like Old School.”
AdamsMorgan In trying to figure out the mystery of a black sootlike material that covered Adams Morgan last week, one neighborhood resident suggests that perhaps the dark dust on Ellington Bridge could be the result of a recent sandblasting to remove dirt and graffiti from the structure. Naturally, this post, devolves into a free-for-all on private school kids. Martymoo comments that a little grime is a small price to pay for the removal of a tag on the bridge that read “Grand Old Pedophiles.” He says the graffito “made me want to puke” and he blames the nauseating bit of vandalization on kids from “Maret/Sidwell/GDS” who “are taught that ‘self-expression trumps civility.’” Rich responds, “You mean it took kids from three different schools to paint that slogan? Man, the kids these days are slacking.” But Kiltumper says private schools and thinky grafitti that uses big words simply go hand-in-hand. “Yeah, exclusive ($$$) upper-NW prep schools are known breeding grounds for strong anti-establishment/anti-conservative sentiment.…I wonder if any St. Albans kids were involved too.….”
columbia_heights A holiday greeting from Columbia Heights resident Halya:
Mary Krismas every 1 Mary Krismas to the boys and girls To the people of the world To the saints and the sinners the people who take blood thinners The sick and the healthy the poor and the wealthy The prosperous and the weak The tender and the meek We been through a lot this year But we still got good cheer How about a beer Just don’t drive You might hit a deer
I think the funnest part about Krismas is getting new tunes Jamming and whamming and banging and clanging slipping and sliding and gripping and gliding that’s the roll in the rock when your ship hits the dock when your goose leaves his flock You say tick tock what time is it? It’s Krisma yo time to go and rest a spell – take the time to smell
don’t worry about the world the world will take care of itself It always has It always will You sipping on egg nog with rum, or rum with coke won’t make a difference – that ain’t no joke The world won’t end—we’ll all be here next year It’s what I’ve been trying to tell ya Being that I’m Halya. Think of Mary.
Mary Krismas. What would she say if she were here? Merry Christmas to ya’ll Have a happy next year.