Things to take away from last night’s rock-n-roll themed F.W. Thomas Performances at the Warehouse Theater:

1. The event marked the F.W. Thomas series’ one-year anniversary. Congrats to Adam Mazmanian (pictured) on providing D.C. with some literary goodness minus the grad-school workshop vibe.
2. Seeing your dad in tight jean shorts sitting cross-legged in a chair can make for a scarring experience.
3. When listening to Bob Dylan = Messy Divorce and/or Emotionally Stunted Father, you tend to not like Bob Dylan.
4. If you are going to read from your damn book, say Perfect From Now On: How Indie Rock Saved My Life, better to not stammer through it and tell the audience how much you suck. You got published. Read that chapter about hating Dylan with conviction. Sell us!
5. Before he launched into his essay, “Holy Fuck! Making It with the Man Upstairs in Contemporary Christian Music,” [PDF] former CP Arts Editor Glenn Dixon threw out packages of communion wafers. This was nice, as I am Jewish and never tried them. On this night, the body of Christ tasted like slightly salty cardboard. I do think this is not an uncommon observation.
6. Watching a giant man lip-synch to Contemporary Christian Music about going down on Jesus is inherently funny. As are the following lyrics:
   • “I ask You, Lord/To make me whole again.”
   • “I get on my knees/There I am before the love that changes me/See, I don’t know how/But there’s power/When I’m on my knees.”
   • “Feed my hunger, slake my thirst/For a spiritual rebirth/Light my darkness, move in me/Make me more than what You see/As I go down on my knees.”
7. Being always around you, Jesus can be a good boyfriend. Being always around you, Jesus can seem more like a stalker.
8. An indie-rock punchline that never gets old: “Joanna Newsom‘s voice.”
9. Johnny Depp played the saxophone on 21 Jump Street.”
10. If you google Johnny Depp and saxophone, you’ll find this.