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“Don’t fall asleep,” Norah Jones told the crowd at DAR Constitution Hall last night before introducing “Rosie’s Lullaby.” I didn’t, but I did bail 45 minutes into her show; I have only so much patience for mid-tempo rhythms, polite crooning, and guitar notes held for longer than FDR’s term. Trying to keep myself amused during this shower of molasses, I kept track of all the bright-red objects onstage. Jones, it turns out, is the Sammy Hagar of adult-contemporary pop:

Red Dresses Worn By Jones: 1

Red Guitars Played By Jones: 1

Red Towels: 2

Red Cups: 1

Glittery Red Drum Kits: 1

Shout-Outs By Jones to Gaithersburg, Which Is Served By the Shady Grove Metro Station on the Red Line: 1

Red Stage-Monitor Cozies: 7

Stage-monitor cozies are news to me. Monitors are the sort thing people in the audience never notice unless you do something silly to draw attention to them—like, say, drape them in crimson tulle. They’re probably cheaper than flowers and safer than candles, sure, but wasn’t bright-red lighting enough?