City Paper is not for tourists
The Drink: “Rude Boy Cosmo”
The Location: Gallery Restaurant and Lounge, 1115 East-West Highway, Silver Spring, (301) 589-2555.
The Price: $9
The Buzz: Rule No. 20 on Modern Drunkard magazine’s “The 86 Rules of Boozing”: Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks. Drinks don’t come much more girly than Cosmos. They’re sweet; they’re tart; they’re pink; and they were, at one point, the go-to cocktail for those girls on Sex and the City. Bartenders might as well smear lip gloss around the rim of the glass. So when I saw that Gallery Restaurant and Lounge in Silver Spring was offering a “Rude Boy Cosmo,” I had to admire the place for having, ahem, balls enough to re-contextualize the drink. The main difference between a Rude Boy and a regular Cosmo is the dominant spirit: Tequila replaces the more neutral vodka, which is smart. Think of those vodka labels with stately mansions, cursive scripts, and flocks of geese soaring over blue tides. Weenie stuff, that. Tequila brands prefer drawings of scorpions, cigar-chomping skulls, and angry eagles with talons ready to strike. Tequila sends the man-meter deep into the red zone. Gallery takes the added step of serving its Rude Boy in a stainless-steel martini glass, which is like drinking from an old bucket. Very manly. Truth is, even with the smokier, straw-colored Jose Cuervo tequila, the Rude Boy is still pink, still tart, and still sweet, but, really, what’s wrong with that? Screw Modern Drunkard. Guys should be able to enjoy a sweet cocktail without being forced to wear a scarlet letter for the rest of their drinking lives.