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Tracking the City Paper softball team’s pursuit of a perfect season

Current Record: 0-8 (.000)

When you’re down by a dozen runs, a bird slowly circling in the clear blue sky can look an awful lot like a buzzard ready to peck at what’s left of your fragile confidence. Despite having one of our largest turnouts of the year—-we had throwing warm-ups! Just like a real team!—-we were quickly dispatched by Comcast SportsNet. Final Score: Comcast 19, City Paper 0. I’ll assert that the assortment of goose eggs we’ve collected this season doesn’t do justice to the decent number of hits we usually get. This time around, though, we garnered just one. Take a bow, Mike Kalyan.

The bats came out in the second game against the equally winless Dow Jones—-Brian Patten launched a homer in the sixth inning—-and Ryan Grim made some fine catches in left field. Impressed by this fit of competence, the game’s umpire would swing by our bench every inning and offer a few words of encouragement, much like a parent assuring a child that this potty-training puzzle is gonna get solved any day now. But alas: Dow Jones 19, City Paper 8.

“Does one win count as a streak?” I overheard one Dow Jones player say once the game was over. Gosh, mister, I wouldn’t know.