To all the people I hit in the face while throwing Frisbees for City Paper in the Capital Pride Parade: I’m sorry. I was aiming for your hands. I really was. But it was impossible to control those little discs. If you don’t believe me, try throwing one from your own moving vehicle; I swear you won’t hit what you aim for.

To all the people who deserved a Frisbee but didn’t get one: I’m sorry. Don’t take it personally. Yes, I was trying to throw at a diverse cross-section of readers, but we all have our faults. Mine was that I usually threw to pretty girls.

To all the people who bucked the police line, dashed toward the wheels, or otherwise endangered their lives to grab a Frisbee: You make me uneasy about the human condition.