From a Saturday post to the newhilleast discussion group:

Subject: [newhilleast] encounter with the driving onanist

This morning, my girlfriend was out for a run on East Capitol Street when a man in a white sedan—-not an SUV, but a sedan—-pulled over and asked her for directions. Yes, you guessed it—-he was masturbating. African American, looking more than a little bit stoned. When she called 311, they told her he’d been spotted already once this morning, though over on North Capitol Street, doing the same thing.

Keep your eyes open, folks, and be careful when somebody asks you for directions.