Late last month, a D.C. Superior Court judge sentenced Julio Umana to prison for armed sexual assault. Umana, a sandwich maker at the Union Station Au Bon Pain, used a knife in an attempt to coerce a 22-year-old male co-worker into an unspecified sex act. According to the prosecutors’ report, several of the victim’s other co-workers came to his aid in a storage room that Friday evening last November, and one of them disarmed Umana “using a martial arts technique he had seen in movies.”

Umana escaped after his failed debauch, and he might even have gotten away with it, according to the report, if it weren’t for his commendable work ethic:

“Umana left the restaurant immediately after being disarmed, but was arrested on Monday, November 27, 2006, when he inexplicably reported for work.”

Now he’ll be spending 33 months in prison and 10 years as a registered sex offender.

Asked about the circumstances of Umana’s arrest, U.S. Attorney’s Office spokesperson Channing Phillips says, “It’s a little mind-boggling.”

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