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Tracking the Nats’ historic chase of the ’62 Mets

Current Record: 32-45 (.415, 10 GB)

Projected Record: 67-95

What a “Soft Tissue Infection in a Right Lower Extremity” Actually Means: An abscess on the right buttock

Oh, and By the Way: OWWWWWWWWW

Parsing the Loss: Nats 2, Atlanta 6. You go to Atlanta, you get beaten by a man named Buddy. It’s not unusual. If you’d gone to Nashville and heard a country song, would you call the police? If someone asked you to one of Atlanta’s finest restaurants, would you feel compelled to wear pants?

Barry Svrluga Nostalgic Description of Cristian Guzman of the Day: “an unexpected godsend”