Midseason Record: 36-52 (.409, 10 GB)

Projected Record: 66-96

The Nats are back! Don’t get confused if, like me, you went on vacation and there were, like, two guys you never heard of—welcome back, D’Angelo Jimenez!—playing when you returned: this season is rounding the corner! This feature’s name probably won’t prove prophetic, but there’s still enough weirdness around this team to keep them enjoyable through the dog days. To wit:

• A pitcher pursuing illegal injections abroad
• A second basemen who doesn’t know what paternity tests cost
• A local sports columnist who, Charlie Kaufman-like, controls the team by writing the opposite of what he’d like to see happen

Also, the Nats play in Florida tonight.