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This is what happens when Washingtonians visit New York: we check out MOMA, we eat some bagels, and we tolerate the constant drone from New Yorkers about how much better/hipper/sexier and altogether “more relevant” NYC is than our modest District. I’ve even heard these cosmopolitan personalities declare that “in the City, all the women are beautiful,” their eyes gazing wistfully past the buildings that extend high above them, free of the chains of a 10-story height limit.

Last weekend, I hopped on a Chinatown bus to go get demeaned for a few days. “The City,” as they call it, has been exacting a thorough Northeastern sucking motion over my group of friends for several years now. It’s also trained them to ask, in a droll and eventual tone, “And when are you moving to the City?”

Don’t get me wrong, I like New York City. I can admit that the grass is greener on the Central Park side of the National Mall. I can accept that the MOMA trumps the NGA (perhaps that’s why it costs to get in). But when, on this particular trip, these New Yorkers went so far as to off-handedly insult my neighborhood, I got a little defensive. “I went down to D.C. a few months ago,” a friend of mine told me. “I ended up at some place called Adam’s Morgan. It was very…college.”

I’ll be the first to admit that my neighborhood’s known to get overloaded with pizza-chucking, flip-cupping assholes on a nightly basis. Still, it’s where I call home, and I’m not going to sit idly by as some self-important City-dwellers peer down on it from their ivory Empire State Building.

So, help me out here: what parts of D.C. are better/hipper/sexier and altogether “more relevant”?

Or, alternately: When are you moving to the City?