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Mozzarella Slicer

OK, granted: Cutting a nice, fresh ball of mozzarella cheese isn’t as clean and easy as, say, a fresh stalk of celery. If the stuff is good, it’ll go all amorphous on you. As an aspiring Italian chef, I know this from experience, and my talents with fresh mozzarella are legendary. My friends, after all, call me “buf.”

Not even I, however, am going to fall for the above-pictured Williams-Sonoma whopper of the ’07 giving season. It’s called the “Mozzarella Slicer,” and it’s designed to conquer those “soft, slippery balls of cheese.” You just place the fresh mozzarella on the device’s platform, lower the wire slicer, and presto!

Please. For the slicer’s $22 tag, I could prepare perhaps 20 turkey burgers, freeze them, and have lunches for four weeks—in fact, I think I’ll go ahead and do just that.

The description of the “Mozzarella Slicer” says it’s a W-S “Exclusive,” but my money says that Ron Popeil had a hand in this one.