The Marine Corps’ local Toys for Tots drive is in trouble, according to WAMU and NBC4. It’s tempting to pin the charity’s troubles on the tangled language on its Web site, such as this graf, which could have only been composed by someone who’s given many years of service to this country’s military:

Private organizations will not receive bulk toys to distribute at their respective holiday parties. Organizations that are attempting to do this need, instead, to submit an individual request for each family utilizing the www.dctoysfortots.org website. This will effectively help those families sign up as Toys for Tots recipients. These families will be contacted individually by one of the distribution sites to inform them of when and where to pick up the toys. If the family is in need of transportation, then this is how your private organization can help; by providing the family the transportation needed to transport them to and from the distribution center. Once again private organizations will not receive bulk toys to distribute.

But more likely, it’s because Washingtonians are cheap, cold-hearted bastards. You have till next Monday.