Even if D.C. ever really got enough snow to make a snowman, I have to wonder: Is there anything more pathetic than one that comes to life via Restoration Hardware?

To wit: Kit ($14.99) comes with “everything you need to dress Frosty in his finest,” including “coal” for the eyes and mouth, a “carrot” nose, three buttons, and a pipe, all carved of hardwood and mounted on skewers. While waiting for enough snow to hold your wood, keep your handcrafted items in the knit cap (surely not made in Sri Lanka). It doubles as a storage bag!

No need to search for stones and sticks. That’s for the kids in Ward 7.