Well, I decided to fight those phantom tickets.

Headed down to 301 C Street at about 3:15, walked into the hearing registration room, waited about 10 minutes, was sent to a hearing room, waited another 15 minutes for a half-dozen other folks, then got my hearing, which took all of about five minutes.

The skinny: Within an hour, I got all my late fees knocked off! And one of the duplicate tickets was dismissed!

Instead of $365, I now owe a mere $190. Only bad parts: The credit-card system was down, so I couldn’t actually pay the bill, and the examiner wouldn’t waive the $50 boot fee, seeing as I still had two boot-eligible tickets—-even though those were tickets I would have paid promptly had I known about them.

Here’s to you, Hearing Examiner Stephen Reichert: You are the very picture of judicial wisdom and reasoned insight.