City Paper is not for tourists
The end of the Redskins playoff run means less airtime for local TV news clowns.
You know their work. Before the Dallas game that ended the Skins regular season, Channel 5 sent new hire Doug Buchanan into the streets wearing a big burgundy wig and had him harass anybody sporting Cowboys colors. He proved his dedication to douchebag reportage by jumping in front of a moving vehicle that happened to have some silver and blue on it.
Buchanan’s a second-generation journo-carny: Father Mike Buchanan perfected the same bozo beat for Channel 9 news during Joe Gibbs’ first and amazingly successful go-around as coach, when Skins postseason appearances, and dumbass honk-if-you-love-the-Skins! reports on local news, were routine.
But the younger Buck, who was only recently let go from Dad’s old employer, wore a self-hating expression as he razzed total strangers. Painful as the segments were to watch, it was easy to feel sorry for him.
Then, days before the Seattle loss, longtime NBC-4 fixture Pat Collins was out sandbagging pedestrians with questions like “Would you stand on one leg and hop up and down?” the implication being such bursts of silliness would earn them tickets to the then-upcoming playoff game.
Collins coaxed one sandbaggee into admitting that he would ” run around the block butt naked” for playoff tickets. Collins wasn’t giving away any tickets, however. He was simply humiliating himself and, of course, anybody who didn’t blow him off.
Collins, like the elder Buchanan, honed his clown skills during postseasons in Gibbs I. With the Skins season over, Collins will still use his same shticky delivery, which relies on….frequent…pauses..of unpredictable………length…when reporting from the scene of mass murders.