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Two nights ago I ordered the vegetarian stuffed pepper at Tonic, on Mount Pleasant Street. (I was there because some sticky goop fell from the ceiling onto my friend’s head last time she was at Tonic, and it took her an hour and a half to get it out, and the management felt bad and gave her a $100 gift certificate to apologize for the inconvenience, and she generously spent it on us, her dear friends.)

Anyway, back to the stuffed pepper. I remembered that pepper as one of the most delicious meals I’d ever had from three years ago, the last time I’d seen it on the menu. When I applauded its reappearance to the waitress, she told me that Tonic had decided a few years ago not to cater to vegetarians, so they took it off the menu.

Hello, Tonic? It’s me, Tanya. You know me, I live across the street and I don’t eat meat and I, like any good participant in our capitalist society, exchange hard-earned money for goods and services, including food that I can eat. What’s up with your anti-veggie business practices? Don’t you know that Mount Pleasant is full of freaks like me that don’t eat dead animals? Well, thanks for giving us back the stuffed pepper, anyway. According to the waitress, they only put it back on the menu because even non-vegetarians liked it. Thank god for them.

PS – Oh, and Tonic? We love the tater tots.

—Tanya Snyder