Budget cuts loom at the National Arboretum.

DC students won’t be lounging today. School’s on!

The courtroom battle between George Mason University and a Sigma Chi chapter that got booted from campus is getting sassy. The school accused the frat of “hazing, providing alcohol to minors and twice “sponsoring a party under conditions that resulted in sexual assault on a female guest.” Now, the Sigs say they’re being persecuted unfairly. After the university submitted videos showing a fraternity leader puking, the boys came back with internet photos of the university president allegedly playing beer pong with a different Greek group on campus.

Surprise! Reporters are lecherous human beings who pick their noses.

And the point of shooting down that satellite was ???

A noble project: finding the best pork in Petworth.