A few weeks ago, I accidentally subscribed to a regular e-newsletter sent out by Human Events, a publication that has been Leading The Conservative Movement Since 1944. As someone with a moderate interest in literature, I often endeavor to apprise myself of new releases, as I did with Ann Coulter’s latest offering, her sixth. I had planned on summarizing my findings on Coulter’s book here on this blog, but attempting to process that information made me suddenly very tired, and I’d rather just skip it.

Initially, I intended to remove myself from this mailing list, which addresses me, with an insiderish greeting that I find both presumptuous and flattering, as “Dear Fellow Conservative.” But as the weeks have gone by, I’ve realized that I actually enjoy one of the newsletter’s features: A weekly e-mail I receive from 1995 Time magazine Person of the Year Newt Gingrich.

I don’t actually read the e-mails, which I find boring, but I do enjoy seeing the name “Newt Gingrich” inbox and imagining that the e-mail is a personal note from Newt. The real appeal, though, is Gingrich’s e-mail subject lines, which have been slowly building into a reactionary conservative found poem in my inbox as the weeks pass. I didn’t think Gingrich could top last week’s e-mail, entitled: The Unilateral Disarmament Democrats: Putting Trial Lawyers Ahead of Your Family’s Safety.

This week, he did. The subject line read, simply: Advantage: Terrorists–Still.