Today’s front page has a photo of two cute women and their cupcakes, teasing a main piece in Food about Georgetownn Cupcakes. People are lining up, of course, because cupcakes are just so fucking exciting.

Except they’re not. Anyone can make cupcakes, people, with the exception of Warren Brown. His CakeLove cakes are the worst ever, although I adore when he tries to defend that popular opinion, as he did in an Ask Tom chat in 2005:

I have seen on-line @ Ask Tom several comments that state CakeLove tastes like lard or is dry and is hard. To me, this suggests that people are eating the cakes, cupcakes, and other pastries at temperatures other than room temperature. We’ve seen similar comments in the past from customers who were eating the product straight from the fridge.

Supposedly, the reason his cakes are bland when cold is because of all the “fresh ingredients” he uses. Or they’re just bland and cold. My ingredients at home may be a few more days away from the farm than ol’ Warren’s, and damn if they don’t taste like cupcakes, rather than “like lard.”

Truly, it takes no special skill to throw some batter in a tin and slap on some frosting, but every time one of these cupcake joints open, people act like it’s the second coming of Julia Child. Worse, this “trend” in D.C. is more than a decade late. As the Post correctly points out, it started at Magnolia in New York in 1996.

One bright spot: with D.C. so far behind New York in the baked goods department, we should be able to get a decent bagel shop in a year or two. Now THAT is something worth getting in line for.

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