Spitzer mania has spread to the bar. Rochester mixologist Chris Carlsson has created the Eliot Spritzer, a layered cocktail with Champagne then absinthe (insert crazy joke) then Campari (for a bitter ending, according to Carlsson). Clever. But what I want is a cocktail designed for Ms. Ashley Alexandra Dupre; I really don’t want to be picturing Eliot Spitzer while I’m sipping on a drink. How about something like vodka (for class), red bull (for trash), and Grand Marnier (for…she’s gonna be rich once that record deal rolls in)?* Or maybe it should be a sparkler as well: Champagne (for sexy), Frangelico (for she’s nuts), and Cognac (for…she’s gonna be loaded once that book deal rolls in)?*

*Have caution when trying these at home. They have not been tested. I’m at a desk. Dreaming about happy hour. But not there yet.