I don’t need to tell you how important your Google is. What comes up in a .18 second search lists, in descending order of relevance, the items that make up your worth as a person and can be seen by anyone who is considering dating you, hiring you, or nominating you for a Nobel prize.

If you Google me, you will read about the home I’m selling for $5.35 million. You will see pictures of me from gala benefit events. You will find out about the nanny scandal (oh heavens me) which ended up costing me $45,000 in back wages I should have paid her in the first place. You can count my donations to Republicans – $70,000 since 2003. Oh, and I went to TomKat’s wedding.

Oh shit. That’s not me. That’s the other Tanya Snyder, wife of Redskins owner Dan Snyder. As much as I object to the Redskins’ name on the grounds that it is offensive to Native peoples, I object even more to the team’s owner’s wife’s name on the grounds that it is mine. And she’s ruining my Google.

The first direct hit for this Tanya Snyder occurs nine listings down, an article I wrote about militarization in El Salvador. And to find the second one you have to go to the next page of search results. Who ever goes to the next page of search results?