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I gotta admit, I agreed with folks who said George W. Bush was only pandering in his first post-9/11 address to Congress. That was the speech where he said that we were attacked only because “they hate our freedoms” and originally declared America’s “war on terror.”

It wasn’t until yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling on voter IDs that I realized that this decision and all others like it from the past six years and change are part of a plan—-a brilliant plan—-put together by the administration and its robed friends to foil our haters and win this war the only way possible: By taking away our freedoms!

How you hate us now, Osama?

And if I can’t find my passport, birth certificate, driver’s license and Food Lion MVP Card by Nov. 4, well, I can only imagine how American I’ll feel sitting out the election…