City Paper is not for tourists
Mark Leventhal started a weight loss service for lawyers (WARNING: mildly intoxicating/annoying music plays when you open this link).
Why, I wondered after reading a press release about said service, do lawyers need their own weight loss service? This deserved a phone call.
It takes a lawyer to understand lawyers, Leventhal said—-to know how to harness and work with the being that is Lawyer and make that Lawyer lose weight. For example, a lot of weight loss plans involve group meetings. But lawyers, it seems, don’t like to admit to weakness in public, so this program has no group meetings—-instead, lawyers check in with Leventhal every day to talk one-on-one. But lawyers are also very rules oriented—-more so than regular people. Leventhal can tell lawyers they have to keep detailed food diaries, and unlike regular people who say OK and then don’t, the lawyers will actually do it.
Plus, there’s the lifestyle stuff—-like that lawyers go to lots of dinner meetings—-and Leventhal’s program takes these lifestyle things into account. So when a lawyer is going to a dinner meeting, Leventhal calls the restaurant ahead of time to find out from the chef what on the menu isn’t too fatty. That way the lawyer knows what to order, and won’t be embarrassed in public by having to ask the waiter for low cal recommendations—-but also won’t sabotage his (Leventhal’s lawyers are mostly men) weight loss goals.
As soon I was starting to come around—-maybe lawyers really do need their own weight loss programs?—-Leventhal let slip the most delightful thing that has set my mind a-reeling for the last few hours.
And here it is: some lawyers are unaccustomed to exercise, and Leventhal sets these lawyers up with lawyer walkers. Lawyer walkers are like dog walkers, except they take lawyers (not dogs) out for walks. They’ll turn up at the lawyer’s office at, say, 7 p.m. and walk them around the city. For around $35 an hour! Is that AWESOME?
But let’s not go too far with it—-can you imagine lawyer parks around the city where lawyers run off-leash and romp and play with other lawyers? That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.