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The last few weeks of rain have not only been a boon to the region’s drought-stricken agriculture sector. They have been a glorious time to be a member of the City Paper‘s star-crossed softball team, the Shadows.

Because when we don’t play, we don’t lose.

“I think that the past two weeks have been nothing but a confidence-builder for our team,” says RF Mark Athitakis.

1B Mike DeBonis appreciates not having to make an early start. “It’s also been the best two weeks for weekend sleeping in,” he says.

Manager Will Atwood Mitchell (above) says he’s looking forward to the possibility of playing tripleheaders to make up the rain dates, which are compounded by the fact that the league is taking Memorial Day off. Mitchell says the team is “really looking forward to some tripleheaders because as everyone in the league is aware, when you play tripleheaders, all the rules have to be thrown out.”

The legality of Mitchell’s contention is a subject of hot debate on the Metropolitan Media Softball League blog, where CP LF Matt Smaldone has set off a firestorm of controversy by suggesting that in tripleheaders, the league’s normal rules, requiring, for instance, three women to play each game, be jettisoned. Commenters have fired back with the brand of baffling humorlessness that is the hallmark of the MMSL: “Play by the rules or don’t play. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen,” writes “blog blog blog.” “MS, have you been appointed commissioner and I didn’t know about it?” writes “robertjterry,” which is, in fact, the name of the league’s commissioner. Says “amac”: “you’re an idiot … has your team ever made the playoffs?”

Well, uh, no, “amac,” but I can’t imagine anyone on our squad making a comment like another one of your gems: “however if you’ve got 100 bags of kitty litter and 25 illegals all carrying rakes and blowtorches, you can play tomorrow, let me know how it goes.”

Photo by Express‘ Holly J. Morris

UPDATE 9:54 p.m.: Someone’s gone in and edited “amac”‘s quote to omit the words “illegals” and “blowtorches.” Now he just urges a detractor to “get your rake, shovel, and kitty litter for those fields, let me know how it works out.” Nice transparency, Media League!