We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

Lance, aka lancefromdc, is pissed. Someone stole his dog last night. The dog is very distinctive, with part of its ear missing. And this is actually the second time someone has literally yanked his dog from his front yard at 16th and S Streets NW.

Concerned, I fired off an e-mail to Lance, who this morning posted on the Adams Morgan listserv under the heading “Missing Dog!”

Then I clicked on the linked video. True, Lance did ID his dog as an “ornamental dog.” But I thought that was just some floofy dog-person nomenclature for a tiny pup you dress up in outfits and carry around in your man purse. But no, Lance’s dog is lawn art. If you see it, let him know, but the Humane Society can stand down.