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I thought I would do something brilliant, and order my birth control pills online from my pharmacy. I filled out the online forms way in advance and got friendly little updates that my order had been received and was on its way. I hurried home on the Friday before the holiday weekend to collect the package. It contained a bunch of coupons, some cosmetics I’d bought and NO birth control pills. So, I had to order pills from the real CVS, which charged me about double the regular price, since my insurance will on cover one package a month. When I called CVS, trying my very hardest not to berate the poor woman on the phone, they insisted the package did arrive. I just need to look harder. I sort of slipped and was not very nice for a second and then the woman said she would write up an incident report and they would “look into it.”

I might chalk this up to the mailman unless I hadn’t heard similar tales of woe from other women. I sort of thought CVS’s incompetency was just a factor of those poorly-stocked, understaffed stores. Now I think the whole chain is incompetent by design. They just want me to get pregnant, and spend a lot of money on shipping along the way.