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How do you strike out on your own if your dad already sells bling? Jon Mervis says selling t-shirts is a lot like selling diamonds. They’re both “emotional products.” To be honest, my emotional reaction to most of these Tee’s is, Uuuuggghh. But, you gotta hand it to the kid for going all the way in terms of silk-screening the worst one-liners of co-ed life, like: “I’m not a carpenter, I just bang a lot,” “Classy girls deserve pearls,” and “Freshman girls: get ’em while they’re skinny.”

Some I don’t understand: “my roommate is gay.” ?

Below, the old adage: two buns for every sausage.