The Heights Life finds a dude passed out on its front stoop: “On Saturday morning around 7:30 am, I found a guy sleeping on the front stoop of my building. No shirt, no shoes, but cell phone in hand. We had a lovely conversation.” Thankfully conversation jotted down for others to now read.

Penn Quarter Living appears thankful that Platinum has closed. Responses to the post want a more “appropriate” use for the “historic” building. (As one commenter astutely pointed out the Platinum space has been a club forever—or at least since the ’70s). The rest of the reactions went like like this one: “i am not one to go out dancing but i sure am doing a celebration dance right now here in my condo at this news!!!! yeah!!! i have been sleeping better since they closed their doors.”

So yeah, Typical. Look: You bought a condo in Penn Quarter. What did you expect? Ugh. Stop being whiny babies and realize you live downtown. Deal with it or move.

And Now, Anacostia notes that Eleanor Holmes Norton talked about east-of-the-river development. The Colbert Report star talked up Homeland Security moving on to St. E’s campus. Woo. Is this really something to brag about?

Metrocurean has had enough deep fried soft shell crabs: “Almost every soft shell I’ve stuck a fork into this season in a restaurant has been hiding in a cocoon of deep fried coating. Why do so many chefs batter the hell out of the poor, delicate creatures and toss them in a deep fryer?”

Eckington (Way Better Than Spotsylvania) celebrates the closing of the KFC at Florida and North Cap.

Tommy Wells appears to celebrate the death of a public school.

D.C. Foodies writes on making your own potato chips.

Your Morning Wake-Up Song: “Fuck A Perm” by The Coup (thank you Moistworks).