Dear George Lucas,

What the hell do you think you’re doing?

According to the Examiner, you were “on Capitol Hill to testify at the House Committee on Energy and Commerce Telecommunications and the Internet subcommittee hearing on universal service” yesterday. Why, then, do I find this picture of you indicating intricate Star Wars drawings while the woman next to you appears to slumber?

Let me guess: You are attempting to lift your popular Star Wars series into some sort of parable for modern communication issues, wherein Luke Skywalker represents, like, universal broadband, and Darth Vader is the shitty AOL dial-up in your mom’s basement.

Nope: Apparently you were simply lifting your popular Star Wars series into some sort of parable for the American political process, wherein Dick Cheney may or may not be Darth Vader, George Bush may or may not be Luke Skywalker or/nor Darth Vader, and Barack Obama is “reasonably obviously” a Jedi.

We get it, your movies are based on “universal themes,”

Amanda Hess