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From the Brookland neighborhood Listserv: Concerned citizen Andrea on Taussig isn’t getting any love from 311. After finding a discarded handbag in an alley, the poster called the non-emergency number to report the missing item. She writes:

I called 311 to report the found bag and got a very strange response. The lady who answered first told me to call the person, since I have their checkbook & license . . . When I told her I couldn’t find a phone number, she told me that I should “pull a CSI” and try to figure out how to get in touch with the owner. She then told me that if I turned in the handbag to the police, she didn’t know what might happen to it.

Note to Andrea: Please make it a CSI: Miami.

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