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Dan Snyder’s penny-stock-or-bust theme park chain, Six Flags, today announced the launch of a voter registration drive at its parks.

To help publicize this democratic effort, called “Voice Your Vote,” Snyder has partnered with, ahem, Seventeen magazine.

It’s been a few years since I’ve read that publication or the Constitution. But, based on my recollections of both, and, well, the magazine’s name, I’d wager that Seventeen’s readership is as eligible to vote as the inmate population at Gitmo.

With marketing moves like this, how hard is it to believe Six Flags will be Chapter 11 by election day?

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.