A red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK (I didn’t get the state or even see the driver) went out of control on wet pavement this afternoon and smashed into the car I was sitting in at a stoplight on New Hampshire Avenue just north of the DC border.

The red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK then took off through the stoplight.

Nobody in my car was injured, but my driver’s side door was pried open and the whole left side mangled as a result of the impact with the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK.

My car would still move. So while calling 911, I tried following the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK into DC.

But the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK was in extreme getaway mode and lost me almost immediately.

The 911 system put me on hold. And kept me there.

Before anybody at 911 picked up, I’d found a cop in a Metro Transit Police car stopped at a stop sign on Kansas Avenue. I tried telling him about hit and run with the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK, but he said he was on another call.

I told the Metro Transit cop 911 was keeping me on hold and asked if he could call for another officer. No, he said, he was on another call.

Before 911 picked up, an Officer Maloney of the Fourth District of the Metropolitan Police Department pedaled up on a bike and, seeing the condition of my ride, asked if a red Jaguar did it.

I said yes, and told him about the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK.

Turns out Officer Maloney had almost been killed by the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK a minute earlier while speeding away on Kansas Avenue.

If the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK had just hit and runned me in PG County, I’d bet a lot of money the driver would get away with it.

But Officer Maloney seemed pretty on the ball, and pretty not too happy about what the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK had almost done to him.

I think anybody driving a banged-up red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK around here is in trouble.

And my neck’s hurting.

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