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Recently, I found myself in the subterranean pedestrian passages of Crystal City, a place I don’t wander too often. There, you will find dozens of advertisements for tech firms and government contractors, including these:

The ads, for an outfit called White Oak Technologies Inc., seem to be intended to recruit software engineers. They depict a fellow whose name seems to be Jeremiah, who likes to dress up in traditional ninja garb and play alone in the woods with his sword. White Oak Technologies seems to think this will convince software engineers to work for them based on the following logic:

(a) Jeremiah is a crazy weekend ninja, THUS (b) Jeremiah must be a interesting dude, THUS (c) Jeremiah must have an interesting job, AND (d) Jeremiah works at White Oak Technologies Inc., THUS (e) All jobs at White Oak Technologies Inc., must be interesting, THUS (f) You should work at White Oak Technologies Inc.

For some reason, that’s not what I get from this. (NB: I am not a software engineer.) Rather, I submit the follow logic:

(a) Jeremiah is a crazy weekend ninja, AND (b) Crazy weekend ninjaism results from an unfulfilling work life, THUS (c) Jeremiah has an unfulfilling work life, AND (d) Jeremiah works at White Oak Technologies Inc., THUS (e) All jobs at White Oak Technologies Inc., must be unfulfilling, THUS (f) You should not work at White Oak Technologies Inc.

Or another possibility:

(a) Jeremiah is a crazy weekend ninja, AND (b) Crazy weekend ninjas own swords, THUS (c) Jeremiah owns a sword, AND (d) People who own swords are liable to bring them into work, AND (e) Jeremiah works at White Oak Technologies Inc., THUS (f) Jeremiah is liable to bring his sword into White Oak Technologies Inc., THUS (g) You should not work White Oak Technologies Inc.

And then there’s this:

(a) Jeremiah is a crazy weekend ninja, AND (b) Many nerds love ninjas, AND (c) Many software engineers are nerds, THUS (d) Many software engineers love ninjas, THUS (e) Many software engineers will love Jeremiah, AND (d) Jeremiah works at White Oak Technologies Inc., THUS (f) You should work at White Oak Technologies Inc.