Every once in a while the Metropolitan Police listservs provide some sweet relief from the usual reports describing beatings, homicides, muggings, robberies, car thefts and car vandalism. The bad news: dessert crimes seem to be up in the third district. The good news: they don’t appear to be affecting the dessert supply in the area.

An assault occurred on the 3200 blk of 14th St Nw at approximately 2:55 pm on 8-6-08. Complainant reports unknown suspect entered his place of business purchased some ice cream. Suspect then wanted to exchange the ice cream but complainant refused and suspect threw the ice cream at complainant hitting him in the face. Suspect is a black male 20 years of age.

A theft occurred on the 3500 blk of 14th St Nw between the hours of 7:10 am on 11:00 am on 8-4-08. Complainant reports suspect entered his place of business and took a bag of cookies and left without paying for item. Case closed with the arrest of Michael Germain.

And, as long as I’m posting on the subject, here are a few other creaminal complaints from past summers:

An Assault occurred in the 1300 block of Park Rd. NW at approximately 8:35pm. The complainant reports that she bumped into the suspect causing him to drop a tub of ice cream causing it to fall to the floor. The complainant and suspect exchanged words and the suspect grabbed her arm and began pushing her against the shoulder. The suspect then left the store in an unknown direction. (8/11/07)

Shoplifting 3300 B/O 14TH ST NW C1 reports that subject was observed concealing a snicker ice cream cake. The subject failed to pay for the item. The subject was arrested and detained. (6/11/2006)