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City Paper‘s new-found promotional intensity does not end with hats. Last week, we got magnets.

They’re nice, but they made me kinda nervous because I didn’t edit any of the stories featured. What do the marketing people know that I don’t? I worried.

Today I’m feeling more sanguine about my prospects for continued employment, because: PENS!

Piles of ’em, on top of the filing cabinet where the office supplies are! And check out what they’re promoting:

Yeah, buddy! Young & Hungry? I edit it! Black Plastic Bag? I’ve totally posted on it! City List? Hey, those InCopy files don’t drag themselves onto the server, pal!

Maybe I’ll buy that new TV after all.