Starbucks is going grammar-forward. How else to explain its promotion of the adjectives warm and delicious to nouns? The last time this happened to warm, Neil Diamond was writing slightly creepy lyrics about Caroline Kennedy.
Now, your average grammar geezer would say something in a high, annoying, contestant-on-Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me voice like “A toasty warm WHAT? A savory delicious WHAT?” But I don’t think one noun-deficient ad is anything to get Carl Kassel all worked up about. In fact, you could really liven up your Friday by unclenching and giving this language a try. E.g., “For lunch, I would like to get a tasty saucy and spicy cheap”=”I think I’ll try something at that food fair on Euclid and Champlain today.”
I have tried to get in touch with Starbucks about this sudden leap forward in the English language, but all I’ve gotten is one rather vague e-mail from a contract publicist on Tuesday asking me to clarify what ad I’m referring to. I did, and that was that.
Which is too bad, because the back of the card raises another question (besides, you know, what the hell is a piadini). Are breakfast sandwiches not going away? In fact, they are not.