Won’t somebody think of the children??

Actually, fuck that. Won’t everybody please STOP thinking of the children? For just once? At least regarding something as traumatizing as…seriously? Movie ads?

To wit, the latest outrage over Kevin Smith’s upcoming film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. First, Weinstein Co. decided to use stick figures on the posters because Joe the Prude thought photos of stars Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen (!) were too racy. Now the title itself has gotta go:

Rina Cutler, Philadelphia deputy mayor for transportation, said the stick-figure posters were cute and clever but unacceptable for bus shelters where schoolchildren would see the word “porno.”

“If they want to call the movie `Zack and Miri,’ that’s fine, but Zack and Miri cannot make a porno on my bus shelters,” Cutler said.

Now, I’m no child-welfare expert. But I suspect those kids Ms. Cutler is so concerned about protecting might not suffer as much psychological damage from asking Mommy and Daddy what “porno” means than from more popular bus-stop distractions such as Crack While U Wait or Mr. Homeless’s Magic Wang.

Plus, Zack and Miri is funny as hell, so it’s all the more unfortunate that Smith has to take a hit because the sex hysterics of America are freaking out over a word. (Jersey Girl, though, that was a title to be feared.)

This newspaper won’t be among the censors. And for an extra dash of offense, here’s the red-band trailer.