Food & Wine magazine (hey, no hard feelings for not hiring me!) has a creepy slide show on its home page breaking down the world’s seven scariest dishes. I have to admit, it’s the best food-oriented Halloween feature I’ve seen so far this year. (Aside to F&W editors: So you’re liking my tone now, aren’t you?)
Anyway, it’s impossible to flip through a photo feature like this without asking yourself: Would I eat these suckers? So let’s make it official. Grab a pencil and a piece of paper, and let’s do this thing. My answers are below. Give me yours in the comments field.
1. A-Ping. It’s a black Cambodian tarantula that’s been fried with garlic, sugar, and spices.
Eat or no eat? Eat, but only with a blindfold and half a bottle of Jack in me.
2. “1,000-Year-Old Eggs.” (Aside to F&W editors: Learn how to use hyphens.) These Chinese delicacies are literally raw eggs (whether duck, chicken, or quail), which are covered with clay, ash, salt, straw and such, then left to cure for weeks or months. The soft, gelatinous green eggs apparently reek of sulfur.
Eat or no eat? Eat. After drinking the sulfurous water on Wye Island last weekend, this would be nothing.
3. Pinkies. These are newborn mice or rats, either fried or grilled.
Eat or no eat? Not. On. Your. Fucking. Life. Call in the social conservatives and put these folks in jail.
4. Casu Marzu. This is sheep milk’s cheese fermented to the point of becoming “soft, wet and covered with larvae from the cheese fly.”
Eat or no eat? Eat. I’ve never met a cheese I wouldn’t eat.
5. Aussie Cheese Fries. A platter of fries is covered in bacon bits, Jack and cheddar cheeses, and served with a spicy ranch dressing.
Eat or no eat? Are you joking? I’d devour this stuff until I puked. (Aside to F&W editors: High caloric dishes are not inherently scary. Think any 7 year old would back away slowly from Aussie Cheese Fries?)
6. Cheeseburger in a Can. No explanation needed.
Eat or no eat? I already have a case being shipped to the house. I plan to strategically place cans in various rooms. You never know when the burger jones will hit.
7. Escamoles. Mexican black ant eggs, which are “boiled, cooked in creamy soups, simmered in tomato sauce, or served with guacamole and tortillas.”
Eat or not eat? If I can choke down grasshopper tacos, I think I can handle this.
Photo courtesy of Food & Wine.